It's Time to Stop the Madness: Can Black Women Get Along?

Over the years, I have experienced encounters with women who have remained my closest friends although we rarely see or speak to each other. I have also experienced immediate rejection and downright nastiness from women who seem to have decided at first encounter, first glance, first whatever, that they did not like me. Now, there are some people I knew from the moment I met them that we would not be friends. However, I accepted that fact and remained cordial without gossiping about them or being mean. What makes us as black women treat each other the way we do?

It seems as though Rodney King had a point when he asked, “People, I just want to say, can we all get along? Can we get along?” Interestingly enough, his appeal was after suffering police brutality following a high-speed car chase. There was no debate that his beating was unnecessary and brutal. Nevertheless, what about the unnecessary and brutal beating we give each other every day, during every encounter, or every whatever, that prohibits a true sense of sisterhood?

What unnecessary comments are we making about other sisters in front of our daughters that feed their negativity about other girls? Are we perpetuating a sense of separation that fosters low self- esteem in our girls? In ourselves?

How many times have you walked into a restaurant, a play, a baby shower, a party, or even church and been looked up and down by other (Black) women? If Black women cannot get along, what is the reason? One issue could be a lack of basic friendliness. Are you a friendly person? Do you smile or sneer? Are you always on the defensive? Proverbs 18:24 reminds us that “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly, and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”

We MUST end the brutality and the violence against true sisterhood by being more welcoming and generally nice to each other – and teaching our daughters to do the same! I am not rallying for a Kum Ba Yah moment everyday with every woman, but I am suggesting that we at least learn to embrace each other, differences and all.

What are your experiences with finding true sisterhood? Let me hear your thoughts.

Demi